Answer by Arûn Râinâ:
i can not speak for the whole kind yet…when u talk about men they are all the same…in a relationshio what they want is a strong hold,u to b happy more than them,a little appreciation for little things he does….they want u to b caring but don't hang like a cow bell…..don't cheat or lie…when it matters…..I love making people special. I would get a PhD in it if I could.I tried to think of the most tried-and-true ways I found to make anyone feel special, and these are my best hacks:
- First identify which types of affection and gestures strike him the most (his "love language"). Some people like compliments; some like hugs; or both, in different degrees. He has to take the quiz himself (you can't take it for him). The quiz can feel a little lame but it's a smart investment for your relationship.
- Give genuine superlatives like "best dressed man in the whole room," "best oatmeal microwave chef," "best teaching fellow (out of one)," "favorite boy," or "worst dumb person." They'll become inside jokes throughout your relationship. Compliments are always good (which is why it's been mentioned so many times already) I want to add that excessive compliments dilute their value and superlatives give compliments more weight.
- Surprise him. Surprises let someone know he is thought of, and nice moments in life are almost always small things that happen unexpectedly. DoorDash him a cupcake or favorite food to his office. Tell the delivery person you'll tip him extra to sing Happy Birthday to him (just because it's funny, not because it's his birthday). AmazonPrime him a teacup or something if he likes tea. I don't spend more than 10 minutes and $20 to execute regular surprises, and I find them that to be a fun creative habit.
- Do special things outside of days designed for specialness (e.g. birthdays and Valentine's). Perhaps act like every other Monday or Thursday is an internal holiday. Take minor events as excuses to celebrate each other (for me, it's when I finish a test; for him, when he improves in squash).
- Unless his goals are morally reprehensible, support and show interest in them no matter what they are. Goals and dreams are often kept hushed due to fear of judgment and failure, especially if they are big goals and dreams. Support his by encouraging him for having a vision at all. Cheerleaders don't come up with solutions — they just espouse a supportive environment conducive for success.
- Be on his team and almost gratuitously support him. Take advantage of the bonding effect of the us-against-the-world mentality. Boo and throw tomatoes at the guy he plays squash against simply because he's not your man.
- Let him feel comfortable enough to show you his worst sides (actually the most human sides of us that we try to conceal from the rest of the world). Stay and love him anyway. Repeat all of the above.